The Walking Texters

So there I am on the stairs heading down into Penn Station to catch my train, and the woman in front of me is going really, really slow.   The staircase is just a little too narrow for me to pass her comfortably (which really irks me because there is *no one* in front of her).   I tell myself not everyone likes to walk at warp speed, and even load on a little compassion and think she may even have some health issue because she is hunched over a bit ("well then take the frickin' escalator"- quiet snarky self, we are in compassionate mode).  So I put on the brakes and pile on the patience and step by slow step follow her down without further judgment.  Until we get to the bottom of the stairs and I can finally wind around her and see that she is on her phone, staring intently down at it hence the hunch and, more annoyingly, the slowness.  On the stairs, heading into Penn Station, at rush hour no less.

The Walking Texters.  They are everywhere and like the zombies in The Walking Dead (of which I am a huge fan) they are incredibly slow and just veer everywhere regardless of what may be around them.  Actually every now and then the zombies walk a little faster and straighter if there is a meal in their sights.

There you are walking along the sidewalk and some tool in front of you is crawling along at a snail's pace swerving all over the place like they just downed a few shots with a marijuana chaser (not that I would know what that's like). If it's not too crowded you can try to pass them, but you never know if they might turn right in front of you at the last second.  Of course (of course!) I understand that texting while driving is infinitely more dangerous than texting while walking - but the concept is the same.  You can't focus on both at once and if you choose the texting sooner or later you're going to hit something.  And it is usually someone else.

Walking Texter Trail

Drunk Snail Trail

Also just like the zombies, it is even worse when it is a crowded tight space, like a staircase or a construction walkway.  There is simply no getting around the walking texters in these places and you have to deal with them.  Unlike the zombies, I cannot just stick a knife in their head and be done with it so once again I'm at their mercy and their speed.  I'm also getting a little dizzy just looking at them.  And my neck hurts in sympathy pain.

The elevator – save me from texters on elevators.  If I’m getting on to go up, here’s hoping they don’t step on ahead of me – they’ll push their floor (barely rolling their eyes up to make the selection) and plant themselves firmly in front of the panel – because, you know, no one else on the elevator needs to select a floor.  We’re just along for a joy ride.  Getting off the elevator?  If they’re waiting on the floor they’ll barrel on in at the sound of the door opening with barely a glance to see if anyone is coming out. 

And, please know, I'm not entirely selfish.  My concerns extend to the walking texters themselves because they are one distracted moment away from being a headline.  In addition to carelessly, aimlessly impeding my movements, they’re constantly wandering into traffic – real, not pedestrian.  One of these days a driver is going to decide they’ve hit the brakes one too many times for these bozos who can’t be bothered to pay attention when there are cars around (I’ve mentioned this one before in my general disdain of bad walking behaviors http://mysnarkyself.blogspot.com/2014/01/walking-can-be-hazardous-to-your-health.html).   I have not yet decided how I will feel if a texting driver hits a texting walker - although I will say I am all for road sections just for them.  Both of them - the drivers and the walkers.  Let them take their chances with each other. 

The Walking Texters - slowly swerving on a sidewalk near you.