But Customers *are* the Worst...

“I literally hate customers more than anything in the entire world. I hate them so much. They're terrible. It's all about them all the time and they demand everything."

“Children and old people are literally the worst I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”

--  Ronnie, former Boston Market Employee

So I was reading the Daily News today and happened upon an article about a Boston Market employee in Georgia who was fired when a higher upper at the company went undercover as part of some reality show (ugh, another one?), pretended to be an employee in training and then fired him when he uttered the above (and apparently then some) about customers while training her.  Apparently, she simply could not bear his attitude because (obviously) customers are the reason for the existence of the company and why he gets paid and also because as a representative of the brand, something like this type of behavior would not happen on her watch (higher upper’s words, not mine).  Sure, I see her point of view.  But, just between us chickens?  Come on, Ronnie’s right.  Customers *are* the worst. 

Look, I know businesses want to keep customers and earn money.  But, the “customer is always right” mentality has created a league of monsters that the underpaid underlings behind the counter have to make happy while still staying within the boundaries set by their bosses to insure the place makes money.  There are a million ways in which this is near to impossible and, just like poor Ronnie insisted, it’s best demonstrated by showcasing the old and the children. 

The old: They place their order and then dictate every detail of its implementation.  They want to know if the mashed potatoes are fresh, including details on when they were made and if the poor schmuck doesn’t know, they want him to bring out a new tray.  Meanwhile he is stuck between the boss’ orders that a new tray doesn’t come out until there’s only two spoonfuls left and Granny who is glaring at him – the customer may always be right but the boss pays him (forget all that hooey about the customer pays them – minimum wage employees are not engaging in philosophical business model contemplation).  Then he puts the chicken on the plate – but she wants all white meat, which he tells her costs more which garners a “WHAT?”  Have you never heard of supply and demand Granny?  The chicken has two thighs, two wings, two legs – the dark meat – and one breast – the white. Most people like white.  Do the math.  Now dessert comes with the meal, right?  No, it doesn’t.  “WHAT?” Forget it - when was that coffee made?  And of course they’ll try to pay with an expired coupon which the cashier should “just take anyway.”  

The children: Actually, their parents but Ronnie probably still lives at home so can't blame them or he'll get kicked out.  Look, I understand.  If I find myself in a fast food place with the kids it’s a quick mid-day stop when we’re starving or a night when no one wants to cook.  This is supposed to be *easy* for me and that means I need happy kids.  But let’s be reasonable.   Okay:  order the sweet potatoes and ask the guy if he can make sure there is some marshmallow on there.  Not okay:  insist that the entire serving be scraped from the top so it’s basically all marshmallow, even when he says he can’t (again, that annoying boss who sets the rules on how and how much you scoop).  And, why would you even ask if he can put a little less of each of three sides on the plate because little Johnny *really* wants potatoes and macaroni, and you want a veggie in there, but don’t want to pay for an extra side.  Make little Johnny pick one or pony up and stop mumbling about how hard could it be and you'd think they'd want their customers to be happy.  And, by the way, at some point during this exchange, little Johnny, who is likely really bored, will start knocking on the glass with whatever toy he brought in.  His parents have learned to tune this out but it is probably grating on the employee because it JUST WON’T STOP.  And of course they’ll try to pay with an expired coupon which the cashier should “just take anyway”.

  

Mind you, I’ve only gone along with Ronnie and scapegoated the kids and the grannies – and Boston Market - to make a point.  At some point in time, customer service across all industries has morphed into increasingly demanding customers who must be sated or they will claim poor customer service.  It’s the go-to argument to get your way – people now seem to consider an employee rude just because they didn’t give them what they want when they wanted it (that’s not to say there aren’t legitimate complaints about companies not giving a  customer what is rightfully due them - I am talking about unreasonable demands not based in reality).  Hell, companies gather focus groups to get input on what customers want – how about having some focus groups of employees telling the company about customer behavior so they can try to mold that?

Now don’t get me wrong – I don’t think it is in the best interest of a company to have an employee that hates its customers (and don’t get me wrong – there are some god-awful employees out there and I will give them a blog one day).  But let’s be honest – customers are becoming increasingly easy to hate.  And then when some poor guy is venting to someone he thinks will be a new fellow employee and understand (don’t we all need a fellow worker to vent to?) she goes all Linda Tripp on him and gets him fired.  

Ronnie, I think you may be a little crazy and perhaps in your next job you should go with something a little less people oriented and you should get to know your co-workers a little better before opening up to them.  But regardless of where we work, we all have customers and I for one want you to know - I understand…