But then, just like they do on the LIRR, the hockey fans showed up and ruined everything. I know hockey fans, you are considering me quite unkind right now and I suppose it isn't very nice of me to stereotype like that (although anyone who has ever ridden the LIRR after a hockey game knows you are the worst). So rather than pinning it only on hockey fans, let me go a little broader and say Dads with their sons showed up.
Seriously, one second it was like this serene white wonderland that we had to ourselves (and yes I understand that concept is more important to me than Mini-Me). There was just one rink guard who hung out over on the side; unobtrusive but there for when I needed him (what a lie that would turn out to be). Then next thing you know they invaded. They all arrived at once, like 20 of them (Did they come together on a bus? Did they think the session started later than it did?) and suddenly they were everywhere. Little guys who couldn't be more than 3 feet tall wearing jerseys that came to their knees and decked out in helmets and all sorts of body padding. They needed it - they zoomed around the ice at ridiculously high speeds in every direction (Hello? You are supposed to go in one direction - the one we are going in. Rink guard? Why are you are still just hanging out over there doing nothing? Oh, now I see the headphones. Aren't my taxes paying for you?) and they just kept falling. The slightly older kids, about 9 or 10, also mostly in jerseys and every once in a while a winter jacket (that I just know their Mom made them wear) alternated between zooming around and across the rink and wrestling in the middle (yes, on the ground wearing ice skates with sharp blades) and throwing stuff at each other (gloves, hats, all sort of stuff). And the Dads. They also had a dress code- every one of them was wearing a hoodie sweatshirt and sweatpants. They too zoomed around the ice (at least they went in the right direction) with their hands in their pockets. Yes, that's right. They all had their hands in their pockets the whole time. I guess they were cold. There were a few teenagers thrown in for good measure (older brothers? cousins? who knows) and they zoomed too. Toddlers, boys and men just zooming everywhere - the toddlers stopped by falling or skating straight into a wall while the boys and men came to sudden stops with both skates and ice flying up everywhere. My peaceful wonderland turned into thunderdome in about 2 minutes. I was...not happy.
Oh sure there were some women and older people. But they were outside the rink filming the
I am a rules oriented person with daughters. Needless to say this all assaulted my senses. Every time a little kid came straight at us from the wrong direction I'm all "hello, wrong way buddy. " "Where is the rink guard?" Every time the group of Dads zoomed past me I was all "do you think you could watch your kids a little closer?" And as for the tweens (or whatever the marketers call them these days) they got a few well placed "who throws stuff on an ice rink?" and "do you know what could happen if I fell on one of these things?" and "we're trying to skate here."
Now mind you this was all me. Mini-me the elder just kept skating around and around the rink at her own little pace (getting her "ice legs" as we call it) ignoring the mayhem around her, smiling and having a grand old time, completely clueless that the boys were ruining our peaceful morning. And lest you think I am planning to raise a hypercritical and hypersensitive snark like myself, I will have you know that all of my above comments were mumbled to myself and she didn't hear any of it.
But we're going back to Sundays...
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