Oh what a day was yesterday. It actually started the night before when the school called at 9:40 PM with the news that there would be a two hour opening delay (really? I know you don't want to make decisions rashly but you couldn't do this a few hours earlier?). Since roads in our town were pretty good, one has to assume it was because they were worried teachers from areas further east (which are a mess!) couldn't get in on time. Now, if your kid goes to school at the normal time then a two hour delay is a two hour delay. But, if you work in the city and your kid goes to the Y before school program, which per its policy is not open if school is on an opening delay, then instead of dropping her off at 7 (where she stays until school starts at 9:15) so you get to work by 8:45, you are dropping her off at 11:15 and if the sun and the moon and the stars align, you *might* make a train that will get you to work at 1:00. Yeah, okay. Time to email the office and tell them you'll be working from home. This is good news/bad news. Your boss will probably be upset as it is your busiest time of year, but in all honesty you get more done at home so you are kind of okay with this.
Of course, being an idiot you stay up watching the Grammy's because now that you are working from home, you don't have to rush out and can sleep a little later. But then Big Guy wakes you at 6 to find out what time you want to get up (!) and since you are all sleeping in the same room the kids wake up too and there goes that plan. Well, at least now he can take in Mini-me the Younger since she is up and you only need to bring in the Elder, the one with the delay.
You work feverishly for several hours (knowing this is prime working time and once you stop there is like a two hour period of re-starting your engine) until you need to take Mini-me the Elder to school. You hit the bathroom one more time before leaving (it has been raining on and off all morning and you've had about 6 cups of coffee) and of course it stops up. You are living with two large men and are pretty sure you are not doing anything to bother the toilet but nevertheless it decides to do this on your watch. Your sister owns a tiny little plunger that could not clear a Barbie toilet so you resolve to stop by your own house, in which you don't live, but where there is a normal sized plunger. Out the apartment you go, to your Mother's car which you have been using while she is in Massachusetts. You use it every day except yesterday when you actually got to drive the new car and Big Guy used Mom's car. You turn it on and "ding ding ding" the gas tank is on "E." Really Big Guy? Four months I've been using this car - you use it once and I get it back empty. Fine, you'll be passing a gas station on the way to the house to get the plunger and can fill 'er up.
Ironically, although you later hear that drop-off was a nightmare, you hit no snags whatsoever. This is probably because en route to school, Mini-me decides she doesn't want you to drop and go, but to park and walk her because you "never bring her to school and she wants to walk with you." Fine, no problem. Of course, right after you park it really starts pouring so you slosh your way to school with the two of you huddled under the umbrella which does nothing since it is also windy. Big guy texts you that you are lucky you did not go to work as it is awful out there. Really now? But she is happy and you will find out later the drop and go lane was awful so perhaps you are soaking wet but you have not had to curse out any other drivers (but you don't know that at the time so you just kind of curse everything - but under your breath so she doesn't hear you).
You stop for gas but have to go around the block because the entrance you went to is blocked by a giant truck. You get the gas and head to the house. When you get there, you receive a text from a fellow Mom and friend who is running a dance at the school that your form which you sent in a week ago has still not made it to her. You addressed it to her daughter but according to your daughter, the teacher said it actually had to go to the PTA, not home with her daughter and now it is nowhere. This isn't the end of the world = but seriously, what's more annoying than spending time resolving something that was already crossed off the to-do list and that should have made a straight line from A (you) to B (the other Mom) but was sidetracked to bureaucratic red tape never to be seen again.
While at the house you remember that you keep meaning to get more underwear because you seem to have barely any at the apartment (TMI?) and are washing like the same three pairs over and over (to go with the same three outfits you wear over and over - bin living is not pretty). However you cannot find any real underwear, just some granny panties that you are pretty sure you bought during the second pregnancy when you were the size of a house. You suspect that there is a load of wash still in the house dryer (which is now blocked by every item that used to be in your kitchen cabinets) and that all of your underwear is there. Well, at least you have the granny panties. You cannot find a bag anywhere to put them into, so stuff them into your jacket pocket and grab the plunger. You fervently hope that you do not get into a car accident during the short trip back to the apartment because you will be found with granny panties stuffed in your jacket pocket and a toilet plunger. This is not how you would like to be remembered (but would understand, appreciate and applaud the jokes that would be made).
You finally make it back to the apartment, successfully plunge the toilet now that you have a real plunger, put away the granny panties, and sit down to your laptop to frantically work for another few hours before you have to pick up the kids (since we all know that when you work from home you automatically have to do that, and dinner and anything else that needs to be done because you are home and the “work” part is irrelevant).
But something doesn’t seem right and it takes a moment for you to realize that you are all alone in the apartment. There is no one else there (well, the dog but it is sleeping). Well played universe. All that time wishing to have the apartment to myself and you give it to me when I have to work. Fine, I’ll take it. Even if I have to plunge the toilet to get it.
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