Coffee Clean-Up On Aisle One!

So there I was on the train, settled into my seat, about to start settling into some serious sleeping reading when I saw it - a lake of coffee spawning about five rivers spreading throughout the train car.  Yeah, it looked like a full venti broke loose.

Now as I always tell my kids there are accidents and then there are completely avoidable careless spills.  An accident is when you are picking up a glass of orange juice and someone walking by bumps your elbow and you drop the glass.  It is not an accident when, to give a purely hypothetical example, you go to pick up the glass while holding an Ipad and your plate with your english muffin and apple slices on it while looking at the TV on which ICarly just started and rushing because you don't want to miss it and jab your hand toward the glass while still looking at the TV and knock it to the floor.  That is a completely avoidable careless spill (and yes you need to clean it up before you can watch ICarly). 

Which brings us back to the lake of coffee.  I don't think coffee spills on the train can be considered accidents (perhaps there is an exception out there and I'd love to hear it).  I think they can be avoided if train-riding folk kept a few simple things in mind:

• Coffee on the train is not for everyone.  It requires coordination, flexibility, and the ability to juggle.  Before you bring your coffee on the train you should practice it at home with the things you will have with you (this should be at minimum three items and for women should include a bag large enough to carry a body in).  Your first time you should really come with a small sized coffee that is only half full.  I know of which I speak - I realized a long time ago that I was *not* a coffee on the train kind of girl. 
• The laws of physics are not suspended on a train.  If you put a full cup of coffee on the floor and the train jolts to a stop, your coffee will not magically stay put.  There's a reason they started putting cup holders in cars, people. And physics aside, there is a good chance you or the person next to you will just kick it over.
• Perhaps you are one of those who put your coffee on the empty seat next to you.  In that case, please be aware that the laws of physics will meet the laws of gravity.  The seat being even more unstable than the floor (they may not be luxurious but those LIRR seats are sort of cushioned and most definitely not flat), not even a strong jolt is needed - the usual and customary bouncing of the train puts us both at risk.  I know you know this because you are constantly glancing down at it.  Would you put it on your couch when your toddler was jumping up and down on the far end?  Then don't do it here.  I would say something, but the confusing laws of polite behavior mean that I would be the rude one if I asked you not to put your giant, steaming hot or icy cold beverage on the rounded, cushion-like seat right next to me on a train that is bumping along at 60 miles an hour.
• Between your legs (we are talking men only now as far as I have seen) is a mite better for me (there would be some containment) but in the interest of being kind to others, I would really advise against it.  Physics and gravity (and the law of pressure) still apply and you know where it's going right? 

Simply put, if you want a coffee on the train you are just going to have to hold it.   Now granted, there are people who do any and all of the above day in and day out with nary a drop being spilled.   But, first of all, I believe this creates a false sense of security for the less competent coffee carriers travelling among us and secondly, it's probably just dumb luck and you are just a careless spill waiting to happen.  And then I am going to have to put my giant bag (which does not yet have a body in it) on my lap because the seat next to me has a cup of coffee on it.