So I dropped off Mini-Me the Younger at school today and as soon as I walked in I saw that just about everyone was wearing pajamas which could only mean one of two things: I was having a really boring dream in which I went through my entire morning routine only to arrive at a surprise, yet not very exciting, ending or - and this was more likely- it was pajama day at her school and I had blown it. No, I didn't forget it; I had no clue whatsoever which means I missed any and every notice about it, including its listing on the month's activity calendar hanging on my (well technically my sister's) refrigerator. And clearly there were such notices - at least 80% of the kiddies were dressed in their PJs.
As soon as I realized it (it didn't take long - I'm a smart cookie) the dreaded phrase that I hate to think made an appearance in my brain. Yes, I briefly thought "I am a bad Mother." Then I shoved it back out with a "hell no I am not" and refused to feel bad for a number of reasons.
First of all, by simply applying the opposite principle I know it's not true. Not familiar with the opposite principle? It's simple yet effective. If you think something you have done is bad, you flip it to see if doing the opposite would be even worse. So in this scenario, a flip would mean that I brought her to school in her pajamas on a day that was *not* pajama day. I believe this would indeed be worse, ergo I had not done the worst thing possible. It is a rather handy tool to immediately feel better.
Looking at it from a factual and relativity stance, I read the papers and watch the news and have happened upon many examples of truly bad Mothers (which I shall not list here because the goal of my blog is to leave people chuckling and happy, not despondent over the trajectory of humankind).
From a contextual point of view, we have had a lot going on lately and if I had to drop a ball, pajama day is not a bad ball to drop. It could have been a friend's birthday party - or even worse - a Mini-Me's birthday (not exactly the opposite principle but the same effect).
Or we could consider it from a gender issues/feminist perspective. Let's face it, the fact that this even concerns me is because I am a Mom. I bet if a Dad forgot pajama day, he wouldn't feel bad for even two seconds (in fact I don't think he would feel bad even in the opposite principle scenario). Mom's internalize this shit - you forget one little thing and suddenly it is reflective of you as a person (despite the fact that we spend so much time making sure our kids understand that when they do something wrong it doesn't make them a bad person - what's up with that?)
But, if I were to be honest, there is really just one reason why I am essentially okay with forgetting pajama day. If you recall (or if you are like me and have no memory, let me remind you) I wrote that at least 80% of the kids were dressed for pajama day. Which means that 20% were not. Which means that it was not just me that forgot (or ignored - either works for my purpose) pajama day. Yeah, all of the above reasons (and likely many others) are valid and all that, but the fact that it wasn't just me is the one that matters. To put it another way - as long as a bunch of other kids were screwed over by their parents too, I'll sleep fine tonight.
(Just in case anyone is actually worried about the kiddo's feelings, mini-Me the younger is fine and has not even mentioned that it was pajama day - just to be on the safe side I didn't bring it up either.)
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