Driving with Big Guy

Along with most men, big guy has a great sense of direction.  This of course is why he and others with a y chromosome don't need to ask for directions (don't even think it is because they are worried they will look weak if they have to ask for help finding something). 

Actually, he does have a pretty good sense of direction.  The problem is that it mostly comes in handy when he has to find his way back after one of his "shortcuts"  or "alternate routes" doesn't work out. For those who don't have this type of man (lucky you), shortcuts and alternate routes are necessary in a variety of situations, including but not limited to when there is any traffic (if there is even a nanosecond of slowing down and if there is an exit it must be taken - even if the road is clear 50 feet ahead, to avoid the traffic), when we need to make a pit stop at a Starbucks, or when the provided directions involve a road with just too many lights (have you figured out yet that Big Guy tends to be impatient when driving?)

It was the last one that came into play when we went to a birthday party yesterday (one in which both Mini-me's were invited).  It was off Route 110 on Long Island and traveling on Route 110 simply would not do - because of, you know, all the lights.  There were pretty clear directions on the invite and I had been to the place before, but Big Guy passed the exit off the Southern State we needed because he "knew a shortcut" so we could avoid "all the lights on 110."  I immediately informed the girls we would likely be late for the party - he was not amused. 

So two exits later he gets off the parkway onto the promised road without lights.  I once again expressed my concern whereupon he declared that he had been to the bouncy place before and knew where he was going and just trust him (with his shortcut track record?  I don't think so).  Again, the benefit of avoiding 110 and all the lights was stressed.  On and on the road went, and I pointed out that we should be there by now (particularly with a "shortcut") and he responded that it was just up ahead.  I questioned this considering the address was on a street which we were most definitely not currently on.  He got a mildly concerned look on his face at that but recovered quickly as he smugly announced "Here it is."  Yes indeed there it was.  Bouncers and Slydos.  Of course, we needed to be at Bounce U.  (All of these names will be intimately familiar to parents on Long Island.)

So we headed on over to Bounce U, by the only route possible from Bouncers and Slydos.  By Route 110.  Through all the lights.  We were on it for about a mile, far longer than we would have been had we not taken the shortcut to avoid it (now that's ironic).  And yes I did point this out to him.  Many times.  Very snarkily I might add.